Douchebag.– Me, after being asked by a gas station cashier what the most popular costume is this year.
Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth
Superman’s Dead - Our Lady Peace
Stand and Deliver - Sugar Ray
Caring is Creepy - The Shins
Karma Police - Radiohead Maybe the best lyrics...
Someone just tried to sell me cocaine in the Atlanta airport. I declined for two reasons: 1) I don’t do cocaine (particularly in airports) 2) I don’t want to know where he hid it to smuggle it past security.
Fat girls are ok as long as they’re younger. Once they get old it becomes...– Overheard conversation
Let Go - Frou Frou
Hi Patrick: In answer to your email of 4/15/08, yes thats right, 4/15/08. ...– Actual email from a comedy club booker in response to an email I sent 18 months ago.
Blood Energy Potion
I guess this energy drink is capitalizing on all the TrueBlood/Twilight crap. Where did this vampire love trend come from? What a bunch of dark, depressed pussies these kids today are. It’s an energy drink in a pouch that resembles an IV bag. I guess it’s cool. If you like gross things or want to be trendy. http://livingwithbloodlust.com
Sic Transit Gloria - Brand New
I’m just sitting in my car and waiting for...
Missed the Boat - Modest Mouse
Brothers on a Hotel Bed - Death Cab for Cutie
Interracial couple denied marriage license in La. →
I would totally go kick this judges ass if I had a time machine to get to him. What a tool.
My Apology - The Get Up Kids
Drinking decaf coffee is like making out with a hooker who doesn’t have...– Me (I realize I may have a problem)
Strawberry Letter 23 - The Brothers Johnson
Someone I knew from high school on Facebook updated their status to “Please keep my friend Juan in your thoughts.” How about this: no. I don’t know Juan. I barely know you. And here’s the thing: I don’t care. Does that make me a bad person? I don’t care. I don’t care if Juan crashes his Delorean head-first into a tree. It’s not my concern. Not...
Such Great Heights - Ben Folds