You should be ashamed of yourself.– Old woman in a wheelchair at my show last night
I was reading reviews on tire places, and one of them had a review from some guy who was furious about how the tire place went through his Mini Cooper to find the key for his wheel locks. “They could have just called me, but they rummaged through my trunk and back seat!!!”, he lamented. That sucks, but let’s focus on the important thing here; why in the fuck do you have fancy...
Jay's Ratings Fall Below Conan's →
Time to feed the rabbit. Please vote for this on Funny or Die!
I carry joke lists in my pocket. You never know when you’re going to get a...– Some kid at the Hollywood Improv bar
The Humor Gap: Men and Women See Laughter... →
Pretty interesting article on the role humor plays in relationships.
You seem like a real asshole, so I’m sure you’re hilarious on stage.– Girl who booked me on a show sight unseen at the Hollywood Improv last night.
A health care plan written by a committee whose chairman doesn’t...– Karyl Gaehring