I’m a comedian living in Los Angeles, CA. I like to make people laugh and write things. I can make you laugh or write things for you. Go ahead and try me.Tumblr (3.0; @patrickmelton)http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9dafc1de5e404d774d1ef5c478e8fd9f/tumblr_mmx2xzNmz61qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>Paid $2 to get my iPhone 5 unlocked online. Was skeptical, but worked within about an hour.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/50615089896http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/50615089896Thu, 16 May 2013 17:34:47 -0700iphoneunlockiphone 5appletravelsimgsmat&t<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/e2be4291224033101fb5e7dbf8b461f3/tumblr_mmwogsVwlP1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>If this is what I look like thin, get me to a McDonalds.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/50593070455http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/50593070455Thu, 16 May 2013 12:22:03 -0700<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hGCPVjts9CM?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Oooof. Buckle up.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/49759296846http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/49759296846Sun, 05 May 2013 23:58:23 -0700crash747boeingafghanistanplanefireexplosiondashboardboom<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6e2382b58a70e44d649e5c507fd5148d/tumblr_mletajlIVa1qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://www.twitter.com/pmelt" target="_blank">http://www.twitter.com/pmelt</a></p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/48208253113http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/48208253113Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:15:55 -0700jokescomedycomediantwitter<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3TRBwKFfJv4?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>I think I cringed harder at this video than any beheading ever.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/48042441740http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/48042441740Mon, 15 Apr 2013 07:49:44 -0700cringepedophilepervertkisseshugsgame showhostcreepy<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/27259ea4d01140277176f3628607843d/tumblr_mkqlsnyoAQ1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My PayPal account was raped in the night. Over a dozen transactions to Wal-Marts in Georgia. Someone must have swiped my card and made a fake. They emptied thousands and left me with $158. Let’s see how fast PayPal handles this.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/47111583602http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/47111583602Thu, 04 Apr 2013 08:31:35 -0700paypalfraudtheftidentity theftwal-martscam<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/d71b292a57c56e545e7f32134700786a/tumblr_mkq1ohKTkE1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This is when I knew I wanted to not ever do any real work for a living.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/47095321307http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/47095321307Thu, 04 Apr 2013 01:17:00 -0700nintendonerdnerdsvideo gamenesmarioduck hunt80s<a href="http://splitsider.com/2013/04/does-doing-standup-on-a-late-night-show-still-matter/">Fantastic article on SplitSider about the relevance of comic appearances on late night versus newer mediums like podcasts</a>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46959522561http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46959522561Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:28:18 -0700podcastscomedycomedianscomicspodcastingsocial medialate nightconanlenolettermantonight showtelevision<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6306ea6601fadcae1ed42d20ed604f9a/tumblr_mk8fc4RMaI1qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>If you live in the Phoenix/Scottsdale/general Arizona area, come see me this weekend. I’m headlining four shows that will be sooooo funny and stuff, guys. Details and tickets at <a href="http://www.pmelt.com" target="_blank">www.pmelt.com</a>!</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46272082067http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46272082067Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:55:16 -0700phoenixscottsdalearizonaazstandupcomedystand-upcomedianlaughentertainmentnightlife<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/0a0f3bdac94c1cd52f800848212ef04d/tumblr_mk6g0xwqai1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>High and tight. #sunday #funday</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46177400120http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46177400120Sun, 24 Mar 2013 11:14:57 -0700sundayfunday<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sdSJ1--kBZ4?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>The only funny person doing anything great on Vine is Will Sasso.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46012943733http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/46012943733Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:41:51 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/adc730377c2bbbdcd2987330607ada26/tumblr_mjum9pmgQL1qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45662798508http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45662798508Mon, 18 Mar 2013 01:58:37 -0700<a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6874239/if-people-talked-about-seinfeld-like-they-talk-about-girls">If people talked about Seinfeld like they talk about Girls</a>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45656324548http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45656324548Sun, 17 Mar 2013 22:46:00 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/440f30d38fb8372f4a3c59ae7657c2c6/tumblr_mjpl41Sm1a1qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>This is what happens to your Amazon recommendations when you put a dildo on your wishlist as a joke.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45422696682http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45422696682Fri, 15 Mar 2013 08:45:00 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/64acdff1b75435f1dec3fd4b2c371be8/tumblr_mjly3x8XK41qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Some Jehovah’s witnesses just came and commented on my door mat.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45273526998http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45273526998Wed, 13 Mar 2013 09:35:57 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/3537b65d0e1a972d746469edc741ff28/tumblr_mjiywa8yzL1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45157713489http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45157713489Mon, 11 Mar 2013 19:00:09 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/326c4aaa89e0676088b90957a6864b84/tumblr_mjgyg1FKPn1qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>Follow me: <a href="http://www.twitter.com/pmelt" target="_blank">http://www.twitter.com/pmelt</a></p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45067531059http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/45067531059Sun, 10 Mar 2013 16:55:13 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/5b7ef2811e0a61f85cc3ca6b87116818/tumblr_mj99qjyG1i1qzoep1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44724790215http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44724790215Wed, 06 Mar 2013 12:18:19 -0800<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nDrQeC9AT8w?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>One of the best there ever was.</p>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44497996224http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44497996224Sun, 03 Mar 2013 15:57:02 -0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/36a95933be7a4e7a5ba8fd350ad81008/tumblr_miympchP031qzoep1o1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44263766730http://patrickmelton.tumblr.com/post/44263766730Thu, 28 Feb 2013 18:24:48 -0800